It’s been a week

Happy Belated Eid al-Fitr!

To say that this has been a tough week is an understatement. I knew Mother’s Day would be hard this year, but then a few days later, on May 13th, it was Eid al-Fitr. It was the first time I wasn’t able to talk to my mom on both of those days. Even though it’s been 8 months since she passed away, the heartache doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. Does it ever? I miss her.

14th Rezday

May 9th was also my 14th rezday. I wasn’t up for doing a photo that day, but I do enjoy doing these yearly collage-type pics so I made some time today to do that. It was difficult to choose just one image to represent a year. I’ve spent so many years in different-looking avatars, but for some reason, Strawberry always felt like she was a part of me, no matter what she looked like.

Do you feel a connection to your avatar? Do you always make it look the same or are you a shapeshifter?


Strawberry has been a Second Life Resident since 2007 and a Linden Lab employee since 2019.

14 thoughts on “It’s been a week

  • First, my condolences, Strawberry. There are people in our lives who, when they pass, leave such a hole that it seems it can never be filled. While I’ve had many family members pass, including my mother, it’s been 20 years since my best friend, my cousin who should have been my sister, passed and I still feel that hole every day. *hugs*

    I wish I had thought to do this from the beginning though I do have photos from the start. I had a look in mind and it took me years to achieve it, but since then, I’ve only made little changes to keep close to that look.

  • To answer your first question, the pain of losing mother never really leaves, it just hides until something reminds you of her and there it is again. It’s been 7 years for me and I still miss her. To answer your second question.. I am very attached to my avatar and her “image”, I do change with the times, but still try to keep her looking similar with each change. The body shape has never really changed, except for tweaks needed for a mesh head. After almost 16 years, it has been a challenge at times.

  • Molokai Sharkfin

    Sorry about your mom. It takes years for the heartache to subside, but it never fades completely.

    I feel very connected to my main avatar who represents who i was in my younger days. I love keeping her current with the latest trends in bodies, heads and clothing as I would have for myself back in the day. This summer I turn 70 years old so seeing my avi on a 27 inch screen is a time machine mirror. There are three things that are always the same through out my avi evolution. Red hair, freckles and green eyes.

    I also have 9 more avi because when I started in SL, I used to make Machinima and needed a reliable cast of characters. I watch for the freebees to keep them current and updated. Some represent family members and others are good role play characters. For years I was in StarWars sims and so had a pink hutt avatar account. What ever shape shifting I do, it is with different accounts. I have an Ewok on another account again for star wars. I used the different accounts because they were clearly different characters. Kind of, “who do I want to be today?”

    I originally came to SL when college campuses got discounts and the University of Hawaii had several sims. Second Live was a college elective in their long distant Masters of Educational Technology program. So I paid over $1000 for a 3 credit virtual reality class. Since that time, the class has gone to Open Sims and every year they have a virtual graduations there. But part of the U of H campus is still there.

    I have been in SL for 11 years under my original avatar. I used to enter building contests as I like to be creative. But currently, I just DJ. My interests have change over the years. I have been in a long term SL relationship for 10 years. A lot for real life and a life time in Second Life. Think that about sums it up.

  • Rebecca Christy

    Lost my mom in 2015 but we had been far apart for a few years before that and I expected to lose her last time I visited her. Honestly it was not that hard for me as she had been miserable prior to my losing her and I just knew she would be happier out of this word

  • Leelah Wolfheart

    Happy Rezzday Strawberry I am also 14 years in SL. I have changed quite a bit in this years with all the modifications that SL gave us. And yes I am connected with my AVA in a kind of way. She acts and handles things like me. Only the looks were sometimes changing when I tried a different skin or laters a different head and let me find out what will be my favorite brand. All in all you can act as you use your ava as a puppet that you can give everytime new clothes, skins and heads or you stay true to yourself. SL is still a place to explore and to find new things, new musicians and so on. About your mum I knew what you are going through, as I had to do that with my dad. He passed in 2001 and still I miss him badly. But I found my way to talk with him or feel him at my side and you will too. Stay save Strawberry and thanks for letting us being part of your feelings and thoughts.

  • Sangi Phaeton

    Strawberry, I lost my Dad in July due to complications from his diabetes coupled with that nasty c-word: cancer.
    It’s been almost 10 years since I lost my daughter to her diabetes and renal complications
    The ache never goes completely away then there are the moments when the grief comes flooding back like it’s brand new.
    I can tell you, talking to others, expressing how you feel, through art, dance, even cooking, (nothing like kneading some dough to get it out) and not to sound silly even having moments when you scream at them for being gone, all help.
    I am sending you really big comforting hugs and lots of good energy. If you ever just want to talk, my eon’s old avi, Sangi Phaeton is inworld and ready with a shoulder to lean on.

    Much much love always.

  • Always remember that she is with you. Everything you do and see, she sees through your eyes.
    I take great comfort in that knowledge since I lost my mum.
    It gets easier as time passes and that is true.
    Berry you have so many people who love you both real and virtually real.
    Your mom would be so proud of you right now.
    Always know that though we lose our physical lives, our presence continues.
    Your mom is with you always . Xxx

  • Decode Ashdene

    Happy Rezzday Strawberry – so sorry about your Mom.

  • Bobbie Faulds

    Sorry to hear about your father. It’s been 24 years since my mother passed from a diabetic stroke, so very unexpected. I still get hit with something and it’s fresh again. Latest was a couple of years ago I was watching Law and Order reruns. Adam Schiff’s wife was in ICU. At the end of the episode, he went to the hospital and signed the DNR papers as she had had a diabetic stroke. I was in tears the rest of the night.
    I’ve been in SL 14 years too. I don’t use my original avi but the alt I use, that is now my primary, will be 14 in a couple of months. She’s the one I use the most and is what I wishe I could look like and wear clothes I wish I could wear. Funny thing though, I got the face right if I was able to lose weight down to her size. I was playing with the shape and making a zaftig version. I was looking at what I actually look like in RL done as a cartoon.
    Keep on keeping on. I’ll be in an SL until the day they shut down the servers.

  • Shirley Jordan

    Condolences for your loss. We either have all been through it or will go through it. So lean on your friends and we cry together and share memories. Jerusha Kitty is my AV and she is my original at 16 1/2 years old. She is the only AV that I play. The first year I made her shape. I never bought a pre-made shape. When mesh heads came out I shopped for one that I could adjust to look very close to the shape I had originally. So she still looks very similar no matter what year I look back at photos. I have spent more time looking at her over the years than myself, so sometimes I am surprised when I look in the mirror and don’t see Jerusha there! She is VERY much me!!! I was going to post side by side photos, but don’t seem to be able to do that here. Thank you for all you do your SL, Strawberry.

  • Toxic Darkmatter

    The loss of a parent you were close to is always going to be felt with such bittersweetness on special days like that… I am so sorry for your loss.

    In answer to your question, Yes, I definitely feel connected with my avi. She’s an extension of me, altho my sliders are broken in real life! I had reached a point where I was really satisfied with the look I had but then I went and tried a new body… the mesh head just didnt look right and so got a new one.. and now im back to a constant tweaking… I should have left well enough alone!! Im always striving for some realism in my look tho and the new body is more curvy like me… I’ll find that sweet spot eventually, it will just take me some time

    Still fangirling after all these years ♥

  • Vashti Adamski

    Mom died in 2004 at age 96. I thot I had grown up, but I cried like the day I was born. She did leave me with Models of how to be, so she is still with me (I finally realized) tho I still miss seeing her.
    SL began for me shortly after I retired (the job left town) and Daughters said I should check it out so as not to be housebound. I worked late shifts and had lost most of my friends along the way. I have met many people, some types I didn’t know existed, many of them have been kind and helpful. My AV has changed as tecknowledgy has improved through the years. I am now considering Mesh Heads, but being careful to retain my ‘Barbie well Skipper’s’ basic appearance so many people ask me which mesh head I wear. Happy Rezzday Strawberry and many more to enjoy ;)♥

  • daquari Stawberry

    Dear Strawberry,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, I haven’t kept up with your blog lately as I thought you had quit doing it. The best advise I can give you, is always keep an open heart… pay close attention to your dreams, when you are ready, your momma will come to you and you will hear her laugh, and see her smile 🙂 My momma talks in my dreams now, I guess, because she knew I was ready. I believe in ‘visits’ I believe that when we are ready, they are allowed to come visit us in their “heavenly form” my mom was SO beautiful when I saw her, it was only one time, but, it was enough for me I guess. She leaves my favorite scent sometimes, so that I know she is around… pay attention. . . If you don’t believe it, it usually won’t happen. Take care of Strawberry!

  • belladonna wexhome

    My father died 24 years ago this coming August. The only thing I can say is this – you learn to live with this giant hole in your life. But the pain doesn’t stop, you just learn to live with it. It sucks. That’s the only way I can put it. It sucks. I am so sorry for your loss.

    As for my avi – I always try to make her look the same – but better – when I do upgrades. I love the way bella looks.

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