My Reflection

My Reflection

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who that is that’s staring back at you? It happens to me a lot. Sometimes I don’t even recognize my own self. Now when I look at myself in the mirror, as I get older, I see more and more blemishes, bruises and scars, even if they are not physically there anymore. Sometimes it’s as if the internal and emotional abuse can be seen on the outside.

I also wish I had the same confidence when I looked at myself in the mirror that my avatar has right now as she looks at herself. Admittedly, I live vicariously through “Berry” inworld and plump up her butt, give her mesh breasts and the curves that I lack in real life. Sometimes I wonder if “Berry” is contributing to my negative view of my real self, or does that happen naturally as we get older? Do we begin to find more faults and not just accept and love ourselves automatically?

I’m not sure where I was going with this post to be honest, just sharing thoughts that have been popping into my head a lot recently. All this talk about proportions in my previous posts and then staring at both my virtual and real bodies, it just got to me. I guess it’s silly of me to compare my real self to an avatar whom I can change and perfect in any way I please.

I am happy and content and my life is full of love and I’m surrounded by supportive people, but there always seems to be an internal struggle within myself. But I assume, we all have that struggle and that’s just part of life? At least I hope that’s the case and it’s not just me.

On a lighter note, I did have a lot of fun trying to put my reflection on the mirror. I saw the mirror at this month’s Zodiac event for Cancer and I just knew I wanted to try and do a reflection picture. I took two images from both angles, front and back, and experimented making the front one look like a reflection on the mirror. It’s not perfect, but it was a good learning process. The mirror is from The Loft and one of my most favorite things at Zodiac this month. It’s such a beautiful piece. The tattoo is also at Zodiac and so well done from all angles. You can check out everything available at Zodiac on the Seraphim blog and then take the slurl and head down there.

Credits:
*Skin: [:Tuli:] Sara / petal :: 09 by Tuli Asturias
Hair: tram C407 hair / brown (size40) by Moca Loup
*Tattoo: .:CoLL:. Guanshiyin ~ Upper Tattoo Layer by Guenevere Decuir (@ Zodiac Cancer)
Mirror + Pose: The Loft – Wrought Iron Mirror by Colleen Desmoulins (@ Zodiac Cancer)
*Mesh Hands + Feet: SLink by Siddean Munro
*Hands & Feet Appliers: Tuli Henna Appliers by Tuli Asturias

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20 thoughts on “My Reflection

  1. “Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who that is that’s staring back at you?”
    Unfortunatelly too often, like … every morning :) Love the shot, the soft ligth and the atmosphere. Plus (!) :) you write so well about what I think all of us feel now and then.

  2. It’s a beautiful picture and lovely post. I think most of us feel this way sometimes, I know I do :)

  3. A wonderfully insightful post!

  4. P.S. Love the way the photo turned out…well done! :D

  5. I often look in the mirror and see this woman looking back at me and wonder how she got so old! In my heart, I’m still a 20-something – not this middle-aged woman who creaks when she moves ;)

    I’m realistic enough to know that I will never look like my avatar, nor ever did (or could). I just don’t have the genetics to be tall and with that sweetly curving bum and those smallish, pert breasts. But my avatar allows me to interact with the world by showing the woman inside…the carefree, fun-loving soul.

    Reflection is a good thing. It keeps us always striving to see our true self, not what our body projects. I admit I don’t love my body, but I love the woman who lives inside. And that’s who I *really* am :)

  6. I absolutely LOVE this post Berry. You are such a strong and empowering woman to share such feelings with all of us…and yes..we all have our faults and imperfections. I to sometimes compare the real me to my avi. That is what every one of us do whether some folks will admit it or not. Take all the female avatars that are brought together by males behind the screen. It is a way of immersing ourselves into a more accepting culture. I just made myself sound like a man. LOL. I AM NOT! I do , however, wish I had some of my avatars characteristics. It is nice to be able to be someone else every once in a while but it is important to always remember who you are in real life. And you are beautiful inside and out!

  7. moar naked Berry! – I can’t see myself in a mirror .. what’s that mean doc?!

  8. Amber Athens says:

    I just like being a pest about these little things so don’t take this the wrong way >.>

    The reflection should have been flipped. Hehe

  9. Thanks for sharing a glimpse behind the perfect (and ever-perfecting) form you present under virtual identity. Many people I’ve talked with about the impact of their idealized virtual form on their physical world self-image, say that they’ve benefited from the self-confidence gained by positive virtual world interaction. Fortunately, we don’t have to walk around all day in RL with a 3rd person view. :)

    btw . . . there was a great documentary on HBO, “About Face: Supermodels Then And Now,” (http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/about-face-the-supermodels-then-and-now/index.html) that is an interesting counterpoint to the dichotomy between human and avatar appearance.

  10. I do that all the time unfortunately, wonder who that woman in the mirror is and wonder when she’s ever coming out and not hide in SL :/

  11. Oh this picture is just perfection, really.
    Absolutely stunning.

  12. Strawberry thank you for always keeping it real with all of us. Botgirl made a great point about us not living our RL in 3rd person, now that would be a mind fudge! What I appreciate most about folks like you, is that at the end of the day, there is purpose in your posting and we take what we learn and apply it in our own lives, real or virtual :)

  13. I have always thought that our SL avatars are the reflections of our hearts , idk if it is just me , but it happens a lot when I look at an avatar , I get to feel how good or bad the person behind it , yeah .. sometimes I don’t get it right , but for most it works .
    I have been following this blog for a very long time , and this is my 1st comment .
    and I think you have a wonderful , young , beautiful heart , and that’s all what matters for real . your avatar is nothing without the real person controlling it .

    oh , btw , the photo on the mirror isn’t the exact reflection of your avatar , it should have been side swapped , (look at hands positions for example) . :)

  14. We talk all the time about “Immersion” vs “Augmentation.” There’s another axis of virtual presence that we don’t seem to talk quite as much about, hmm, guess I’ll call it “Experience” vs “Representation.”

    In the film Avatar, Jake goes to Pandora, in part, so that he can experience walking and running again. IRL he’s stuck in a wheelchair. But in “VR” he can walk and run again, and once he starts, no one can stop him.

    On the other hand, the RL / SL group Gimp Girl uses VR not to experience walking or other things that their members in wheelchairs or other circumstances can’t do, instead they use virtual space to represent who they are. To interact with each other and to declare their presence to the world.

    Both perspectives are legitimate and perhaps not exclusive. If I can’t walk IRL, and want to experience it in a VW, great. If humans can’t fly IRL, and I want to experience that in a VW, great. But it’s also true that invisible people never get accommodations or civil rights. I love the old LGBTQIA chant “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” It’s such a fundamental statement that “I exist” and I want the larger population to include me in the weaving of our cultural fabric.

    There’s also a sort of parallel to this in the physical world where, for example, the late Christopher Reeve was a hero to some, and not so much to others. For some his activism for research was far more heroic than the cartoon superhero he had once played on the silver screen. But for others his relentless chant of “cure me” was problematic in that it suggested there was something “wrong” or “less” about being paraplegic or quadriplegic, and also because they feared that the massive research money he pushed for was for a cure they never expected to see in their lifetimes, vs money for real accommodations in the here-and-now for people trying to lead full lives in a not-so-accommodating world.

  15. Rasha Crossbow says:

    The reflection is close to perfect. Good work but its still wrong.

    When you look at yourself in a mirror you see the opposite of you. Like for instant if you are posing with your left hand on the hip, then in the mirror it will be the right hand on the hip. That is where you did wrong. Just flip it and all is perfect. :-)

  16. It was really nice to wake up to all these supportive and informative comments.

    Botgirl, that looks like a very interesting documentary, thanks for the link, def going to look it up.

    As for the reflection, yeah I had noticed I messed up that part as soon as I uploaded it to flickr, lol, what can I say, rookie mistake, haha. Will definitely keep that in mind next time I do a reflection.

    I am kind of relieved to see that I’m not the only one with these kinds of thoughts running through my head. So thank you, for taking the time to share with me. <3

  17. I really have no idea what you and everyone else here is talking about Berry, given that I’m perfect in every way and it’s actually my avatar than envies me rather than the other way around…. Hehe, if only that were true…

    I have a feeling you might have woken to a vulnerability hangover after this post (trust me, I know that feeling very well too :), so I can certainly appreciate how nice it must have been to have awakened to all of these wonderful “I see you” comments? Way to keep it real.

  18. Think this is a great post Berry. While reading it I’m sure we were all being very subjective which sometimes is difficult to do. This would make a great Monday Meme…just saying. :)

  19. I really loved this post, Berry. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I feel a lot like this too. I think the media and has a lot to do with this and SL obviously adds another component to the issue. I feel that the pressure society puts on women (men too) to be perfect and eternally youthful has much to do with this as well.
    I look at my bare body often in the mirror; analyzing and deconstructing it. Unfortunately, the longer I stare in the mirror ,the more faults I find. I start to notice a dimple on my thigh that was not there a few ago or my smile lines (which I have always had) seem more furrowed. And, of course my nose. I am Jewish and have the typical Jewish nose. My parents offered to pay for a nose job, when I was a teenager. At the time, I felt it was insult to my heritage and it was part of who I was on many levels. However, now that I am older, I my feelings have changed. So, I’ve bean heavily contemplating going under the knife. Unfortunately, in RL we do not have sliders! LOL! At least when I become too old to wear many of things I like to wear now, I can live vicariously in the never aging world SL.
    Btw, amazing image as always ^^

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